These three envelopes have fallen out of my Bible every morning since the beginning of July, hitting the couch just as quickly as the tears have hit my cheeks.
I won’t lie, the first month just seeing them was about all I could handle.
By the time August rolled around, my heart had started to wonder what might be inside; yet still I found myself unable to muster up enough courage to read the words penned by some of my dearest friends.
Month number 3 brought about no change and these cards followed their daily routine…falling out, finding themselves sitting by my side and being tucked back in somewhere between Psalms and Revelation.
And here we are, it’s nearly the end of October and these envelopes- they are still sealed.
I know they hold precious words inside, but my heart isn’t quite ready to see the familiar handwriting and to feel the sting of what once was. I know it will stir up a well of emotions and I’ll yearn for different days, when our front doors weren’t so far apart. I know my eyes will fill with tears and my heart will break again, as I think about the beauty of the relationships we left behind.
But with time, I know the words will wash over me, rejuvenating, refreshing and prompting thanksgiving for the blessing of friendship and sisterhood, no matter how many miles stretch between.
And during this same passing of time, I also know my own perspective is shifting. The dry places are beginning to feel a bit more abundant, for the Lord is softening and filling up my own heart. He’s teaching me in this period of change and transition that He is immovable, and He’s reminding me that it’s ok to grieve the close of one season to step into the new one He has prepared.
As I glance out the window this idea is made even clearer. For just as we are beginning to see the transformation of green leaves to warmer Autumn colors, we too are transforming and changing. Much like the ushering in of Fall, this new season is bringing about beauty in the landscape of our own hearts.
God has a way of doing that you know.
He can take what seemed impossible and make it possible.
He can take our fears and anxieties and what ifs and flip them upside down as we learn to step out in faith and trust Him.
He can take the darkest places in our hearts and give them new life.
That’s what He’s been doing in me.
He may have moved us from a place we loved dearly, but He called us here for a reason. And saying “yes” set us off on the grandest of adventures with our Savior, exploring and falling more in love with Him today than we were yesterday.
You see God really can do more with our “yes” than we can do with all of our fears, hesitations and attempts at control combined.
And as strange as it may seem, I think these three envelopes are a visual reminder to me of all of that… they tell a piece of our story, of the letting go in order to go with God, of the trusting when we didn’t really understand it all and embracing the wonder of the unknown. But they also tell the story of community, of digging down deep with others and living life connected through Him.
Three thoughtful expressions from friends, that when opened one day, will most likely find their way back to cozy little places in the middle of my Bible; so that upon their falling out, I can glance up to Heaven and whisper thank you- thank you for this new season and thank you for the blessings of the one before.
– Luke 18:27-30
– Joshua 1:9
– Psalm 94:19
– Proverbs 18:24
– Isaiah 41:10
– Philippians 4:6-7
– 2 Corinthians 5:17