annie agarwal photography | Buford, Georgia Photographer »

when tears fall

The crashing of the waves against the shore soothes my soul like nothing else.
It’s why I play these sounds every night when I crawl under the covers and why my first choice for a vacation is always the beach.

Their gentle cadence lulls my mind and ushers in peace.
Their consistency rolling in and out from the ocean’s expanse helps still my wandering thoughts and relaxes my overactive “what-if’s.

But the past week, I’ve experienced a different set of waves crashing in.
Waves of emotions that will not stop.

Waves of loss and sadness, an aching for others that I can not shake, news of deaths and heartbreak, of marriages in crisis and unexpected health concerns that have come at the worst time.

It’s gotten so personal.

Jobs of friends and family suddenly gone.
A mission trip for my daughter and I – canceled.
The potential that I won’t be able to hold my first niece when she’s born.
A family member diagnosed with cancer.
A friend who is recovering from a stroke.
Some couples fighting for their marriages, others at the brink of giving up.

It is so much.
It feels like too much.

And it is, for me.
But not for my Savior.

This is what He specializes in.
Brokenness. Heartache.
Giving hope and peace when everything in the world seems to be falling apart.

As I closed my bedroom closet door behind me last week and nestled into the hanging clothes for some privacy, I finally allowed the tears to come.
In that moment, I realized the overwhelming heaviness, the waves of emotions, they were all ushering in grief.

And I needed to just sit there for a minute with it all.

I needed to stop trying to cover it up.
I needed to stop trying to mask it with a smile or by keeping my hands busy.
I needed to just stop and sit with Jesus.

I needed what He specializes in giving.

Maybe you need the same thing too.

Maybe you need to quiet your heart and sit with your Creator for a while, even if it means burying your face in your husband’s plaid shirts and crying.

Be still, and know that I am God!
Psalm 46:10

Or perhaps you need to be reminded of God’s presence in your pain.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

Or that He is near when you are grieving.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

He knows friends.
He cares.
He loves. YOU.So don’t stuff it, don’t mask it.
Stop and sit with Jesus.He’s waiting for you.

April 10, 2020 - 2:17 am

Heather - Beautiful. Poignant. Needed.

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